Love Your Mama
by Lisa Lucas
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mother figures out there! What does it mean to be a mother? Motherhood comes in many forms and we are here to celebrate and honor them this Sunday and everyday, BTW. Where would we be without their wisdom, their power, their care and nurturing? Nowhere, that’s where! This week I want to share an essay from our award-winning cookbook, That Time We Ate Our Feelings (page 279) as well as the classic Sangria Olé recipe from my mother, Franny, that goes with it:
Let me tell you a little about my mother, Frances Mary Pavich (a.k.a. Franny). She is a remarkable woman who raised my sisters and me, kept us all in line, and supported us in doing whatever it was we set our minds to. This is a woman who taught us the world is a place where it is not uncommon for someone to burst into a Broadway song and dance to express their feelings. She is only twenty-one years older than I am, and in a lot of ways I feel like I watched her grow up right alongside me. Now for her latest endeavor, she’s taking on the role of matriarch of this ever-changing Dalmatian (Croatian-American) complexity that is our family.
It’s a role well suited for her, being a Virgo, but one that will inevitably be exasperating at times. Her daughters and son-in-laws and nieces and nephews and grandchildren are all an opinionated, loquacious, overachieving bunch of feelers and Hrvatski dance partiers—and we get loud, cut no slack, debate the issues of the day, and can stay up teary-eyed storytelling until the sun rises. So here’s to the new generation, to breaking old cycles that no longer serve us and to forging new frontiers in love, life, and food. We all love you dearly, Franny, and know you are up for the challenge. My sisters and I are truly blessed to have Franny as our mother. All her time was spent raising us, forever supporting us and believing in our dreams while forsaking her own, and managing our busy lives like a superhero mom-a-ger. Thank you, Mom, for giving us so much.
When I am in the waking hours of my day, most of my conscious thought considers the loss to society, to science and to art because women were not given the equality and opportunity they deserved and were instead pretty much forced to live in our societal stations rough-hewn from the fashion magazines and housework and child-rearing. When I take pause to think of how many people have gone crazy from the inequalities, the drug addiction and suicides from not being able to live their best life because there were so few choices, and when I consider the magnitude of this same scenario of discrimination toward people of color, indigenous people, anyone other than a white male, I want to cry and never stop.
My mother could have been anything. She could have done anything she set her mind to. She had dreams, but she knew she could only dream. She was and is clever, a terrific conversationalist and storyteller. This became a strength of hers when my dad needed a wife who could hold her own at cocktail parties. She could never appear smarter than the men, even though she was smarter than all of them! My mom was and is a self-taught admirer of art and aesthetic and has been her entire life. She even painted, and while no one thought anything of her paintings, they were stunning. It was a cute “hobby.”
In 1961, her grandfather Tony recognized her need to feed her soul and invited her and her younger brother and two cousins to Europe to see the great cities and experience a grand tour of culture. The only reason she got to go was that her grandfather didn’t see her as just a girl. She had a brain and they had a solid connection, one he did not have with her younger brothers. She was so excited about this trip. Finally a chance to explore and breathe in the work of the masters. When she walked up to the Mona Lisa in the Louvre for the first time, she studied it without the plexiglass. People could still touch it back then, she said. In my baby book she wrote, “Lisa, named after the Mona Lisa and Christmas Noel.” Franny always encouraged me and my sisters to reach our full potential—and we did because of her. One time when I was in Singapore, I took up a suggestion from Franny to have Singapore slings at the Raffles Hotel. It was 1997 and they were twenty-five dollars each—a fortune at the time, which would be fifty-one bucks in today’s dollars! But she was right. Damn, if that wasn’t the best cocktail I ever had! One thing for sure about my mother is that whenever we went anywhere we always ate at the best restaurants and drank at the best bars to get the full experience. But it must also be noted that she is, at times, prone to constructive criticism with really unattainably high standards. If you ever receive a rare compliment from her, be sure to know whatever you did must have been exceptional in her eyes. I hope she likes this cookbook. This sangria is an ode to my mother: classically crafted with the best ingredients and sure to delight in its complexity and flavor, just like her.
Love Your Mama—and Make Franny’s Classic Sangria Olé!
SERVES 10
4 blood oranges (reserve 2 to slice for garnishes)
1 lemon
1 lime
1 Honeycrisp apple
1 nectarine or white peach
1 cup green grapes, halved
1 cup raspberries
1 cup blackberries
½ cup blueberries
1 bottle Spanish rioja or other low-tannin red wine or red grape juice or alcohol-free “wine”
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 cup Cointreau or orange simple syrup
Flavored seltzer for topping
COCKTAIL VERSION
1. Juice 2 of the blood oranges, and then thinly slice all remaining fruit except the berries. Slice in corresponding half-moon shapes, and then place the cut fruit and the whole berries in a pitcher.
2. Add the rioja, then the maple syrup, then the Cointreau. Mix very gently with a wooden spoon. Refrigerate pitcher for a minimum of 1 hour.
3. When ready to serve, spoon ample fruit that is soaked with the sangria into clear glasses. Add blood orange slices for garnish, then the ice and the sangria.
MOCKTAIL VERSION
1. Follow the instructions for the cocktail, but substitute the wine for red grape juice or use an alcohol-free “wine,” and substitute the Cointreau for orange simple syrup. Top each glass with a flavored seltzer (such as raspberry lime).
Here is the video of me making this sangria with Debrianna on the first season of our YouTube show, Corona Kitchen (now in it’s 6th season as Kitchen Bitches):
Watch or listen to Lisa reading Love Your Mama—and Make Franny’s Classic Sangria Olé!
Organizations to join:
DemCast: demcastusa.com
Swing Left: swingleft.org
Women’s March: womensmarch.com
Indivisible: indivisible.org
5 calls app: 5calls.org
For Volunteer opportunities, rallies, etc.: mobilize.us
And, there’s still time to get your mamma something special for Mother’s Day, for those 11th hour gift givers…Our award-winning cookbook,That Time We Ate Our Feelings is available from Apollo Publishers in your local bookstore as well as:
And please check out our online store for some really cool merch (btw, there are some great items to wear to protests!!):
Kitchen Bitches ONLINE STORE
XO D&L
Love this letter to Franny ♥️ also my mouth watered at that sangria!